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Love relationship, or "I can not live without it"


Love relationship, or
Probably, there is no woman who, at least once in their lives have not heard from her friends: "I can not live without it". Indeed, despite the ill attitude, continue to tolerate such a friend and hope that something will change. Or parting, did not really live, still excavating the wreckage of past and sprinkled ashes on his head. Most interesting is that the new relationship as a good photocopy, it is always very similar not earlier.

And then, this relationship begins to walk in ", the girls" are sure to find her a wreath of celibacy, or tell you about the sins of past lives. For a while, after all these manipulations, it seems that it became easier, but then again everything is back to normal.

Despite her sincere desire for happiness and the willingness to do something for this, all the men in her life, one way or another, are not "those". Someone is drinking, someone hits someone walking or inability to-greedy in senile grumbling and picky, but someone, in general, is married. All of them, at any time, made her happy, but maybe it just seemed, but then, suddenly, everything changed for the worse, as if she was trying to please not again, and enjoy. She always sincerely hopes that the person can be in a good change, we just need to behave even better, because it is so important to her appreciated and loved. But, for some reason, all her love alone suffering.

And if you look closely, all these painful and unhappy relationship, it can clearly be seen a certain sequence. For example, this friend is not looking for easy ways, she "provokes" appears next to a complex, emotionally unavailable men their eternal willingness to please and try to please. And then, with the "simple and clear" it is very boring and bland. At the beginning of a relationship is "in love with ears", they give her a much-needed sense of security, love and attention. But as soon as the approach to a certain stage of equilibrium, it does not have the previous finding an emotional response from the partner begins to feel insecure, "and suddenly he is someone" or "what if I do not need him."

And then she starts to behave more "better" in the truest sense of the word, even more by investing in relationships. In the end, relationship satisfaction and contribution they begin to be in inverse proportion. She was not quite gets that feeling of happiness, but always remembers about him, about the wonderful moments in the beginning of the relationship, and all the forces trying to keep them. Therefore, it is trying to restore its former sense of security, fear begins to "hang" for a partner. Partner, seeing her willingness to do anything for love, comes with it as it sees fit. He sees it needs, how strong her need for love and in it as its source. A loving woman, not noticing anything, continues to suffer in this relationship (even if it is not safe for life), because he is afraid to be alone and abandoned. She is ready to do anything to make any sacrifice just to be with this person, finding a lot of reasons why it is so necessary to be together.

But the real cause of her suffering was "love relationship" . She really was emotionally dependent on a partner, because they do not feel internally coherent. She saw herself in the mirror of a man's attention and attitude towards themselves, so it is hopeless to try to fix it. She was so important to have someone - something desired. After all, with itself, she felt inadequate. She just needed a person who could convince her that it is something worthy. Herself she did can not give.

Get out of the vicious circle it will only awareness of the root causes of their behavior, because all the other recipes simply do not work. Pursuing such masochism in relations and provoking it to themselves, these women are usually protected from other painful topics from the dangers of the world and themselves. And if you try to "fast" to take away from her the protection she would break down and find a way to even more destructive, not only to feel, not to be alone with his own "badness" and pain. Therefore, for these friends who are prone to love suffering, the best support is not pity or condemnation, and expert help.

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